After He Killed Me by Natalie Barelli

Author:Natalie Barelli [Barelli, Natalie]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
ISBN: 9781542046992
Publisher: Thomas & Mercer
Published: 2017-09-20T22:00:00+00:00

22

I woke up this morning infused with a lightness I have not felt in years. I’m free, and I’m strong, and I want a new life. I want friends and loved ones around me. I want laughter and good food, friendships, and confidences, and I want to fill the void with people.

I slept surprisingly well last night. No ghosts, no nightmares, just the sleep of the just. I go for a run, and all the time I am running, I have images flashing through my mind, snapshots of Jim and me at dinners, birthdays, vacations, celebrations, of us making love, and all I can think is: What was I thinking?

Why did I stay so long with this psychopath? What on earth did I see in him? Flipping through the slideshow of my memories from this new vantage point, all I can see is a pompous narcissist, and then there’s me, looking up, prepared to do anything to please him. It makes me run faster. I see a man who was so self-deluded that even after he committed major fraud, he still thought he had come up with the magic formula to solve the world’s problems. No, Jim, you faked it, remember?

I used to think he was so smart. Now I realize he just enjoyed putting me down to raise himself up. His behavior toward me was bordering on abuse, frankly, and I should have my head examined.

But that was then, and today is a new day, and good riddance to you, Jim.

I change out of my running gear, have a shower, and dress in nice clothes. I look much better now. I feel great. My running routine and healthy diet are paying off. That drab, sad face, those ugly dark circles under my eyes, that sallow look are all gone.

How is Carol faring? Did she sleep? Or did she stay up all night wondering whether it was all a bad dream. Is she relieved? She must be relieved. There’s something to be said for not having to look over your shoulder all the time, convinced that the psychopath over there, in your bed, the one who professes to love you and only you, is trying to kill you.

A few months ago, I never thought I would say this, but I quite like Carol now. I thought she showed some guts yesterday. I hardly know this woman. We spent a little bit of social time together way back when, and then she moved away. But she surprised me. Considering what we’ve shared, I find myself almost regretting that we will never see each other again.

Almost, but not quite.

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